Weigh To Go! Part 4

Hello 157! Yes, I am officially in the 50’s. That means that I lost 3.2 pounds in April. (That’s 1.36 kilos for my metric friends.) I have to say that I am just tickled with myself right now. 157 baby! I actually miscounted the days this month and so TOM showed up yesterday, right on schedule, but catching me completely unaware as I was expecting him today. Of course he brought his suitcase full of bloat! But even with all of that going on, I still managed to show a 3 pound loss! What’s nice about that is knowing that in about three days I could be as much as five pounds lighter than I am right now. So obviously I’m way off from my 145 mini-goal. I’ve heard some people say that you shouldn’t set deadlines or goal dates but even with not reaching this first mini-goal I still feel better with having had some event to work towards. It keeps me motivated. So I need a new mini goal date and I’m picking my birthday for it. June 3rd, here I come! That’s about one month away and so I’d like to see myself down to 145 by then. Completely doable as long as I keep things on track and moving forward. Well Sunday is the big day. Happy first year anniversary to me! There will be a small replica of our wedding cake and a meal at a surprise restaurant and champagne to celebrate. Bring on the romance!

The Day Before

Tomorrow is April 28th, weigh day. Back in mid-March I had set a goal of losing 15 pounds before my first year wedding anniversary. Well my first year anniversary is this Sunday the 30th and I know I’m not anywhere near the 145 pound mark I had envisioned for myself! I’m surprisingly ok with falling short of this goal though. I may only be somewhere near five pounds of fat down instead of the intended fifteen but this past month has seen me getting rid of the mental weight and we all know that mental fat is exponentially heavier than body fat! Unfortunately TOM is scheduled to arrive tomorrow and TOM always brings about five pounds of bloat so I’m prepared that the numbers may be a little distorted or even unchanged since last weigh-in. It really doesn't matter though; whatever the scale may say tomorrow, I’m going to keep being happy, believing in me and doing what I know I need to do! Ok, more tomorrow after weigh in! Wish me luck!

The Tight Pants Dance

As I wrote about in a previous post, I was confused as to what size I was. I was wearing size 10 jeans that were a little loose but ironically couldn’t fit into another pair of jeans that were size 11’s because they were too tight. Yesterday morning after my “De-pantsing while buttoned and zipped” victory I decided to go into the closet and face those size 11’s again. Well this time I was able to get them up and buttoned! They were just a little too snug around the ass and thigh area to look good but the waist fit was right and I was determined to wear them. I’m sure you guys know what that means; yep, lunges and squats to stretch them out. Don’t you think it’s funny that everybody knows this trick? And I think everybody has their different focus when doing it, depending on what part of the pants they need stretched out. For me, I need the stomach of the pants to stay the same but the booty and thighs to stretch out. I’ve found that the best way to do this is to spray those target areas with a water bottle and then do deep squats and side lunges. I broke them in enough to wear to school yesterday and after a few hours of wearing them I wasn’t sure if that had been the best idea. They really felt pretty tight! But then I realized that I’ve kind of gotten used to my clothes being a little too baggy. When I looked in the mirror, they looked and fitted fine so maybe it’s just me having to get used to these pants being fitted to my body. The best thing though is knowing that they’re very snug now but eventually they’ll become looser, then eventually they’ll need a belt and then eventually they’ll be banished from the closet forever for being too big and therefore unwearable and not needed! That’s a motivating and fun thing to look forward to!

The Underpants Dance

I definitely am losing weight, we’ll find out the exact numbers on Friday but this morning I have physical proof! I’ve been wearing those oversized 10 jeans for a while now and I noticed that even with the belt they were riding down. So this morning I was saying to my husband that I could tell that they were starting to fit looser. On a whim I undid the belt, leaving them still zipped and buttoned, and pulled on them just to see how far down they could go. Well imagine my surprise when I was able to pull them completely off! I was so excited! I just stood there in the living room in my shirt and underwear, pants around my ankles, arms extended up in the victory pose, whoo hoo!-ing at my husband. Luckily he loves me and understands how big a deal this is to me or otherwise I would just be his crazy wife with no pants dancing and cheering in our living room. I really have no shame when it comes to fat loss!

Strolling The Super Market Aisle Of My Childhood

Last night my husband and I were talking about favorite childhood foods that we haven’t eaten for years. Some people wax nostalgic about childhood games or family vacations; my husband and I fondly reminisce about crap foods that we grew up on. So here’s what we came up with as sentimental favorites:

Kraft Macaroni and Cheese

I’m sure my eyes kind of glazed over as I talked about how my mom used to fry sliced up hot dogs in a pan and then mix them into a batch of Kraft macaroni and cheese. My sister and I insisted on the blue box kind with the mix in powder because we absolutely refused to eat the one that came with a pouch of real cheese. The pouch cheese molecularly resembled plastic more than real cheese and its taste had nothing on that neon orange powder! Around the age of 10 I took over the all-important job of making this dish. As I served my sister a bowl I would ask her if she wanted one “slop” or two, with a slop equaling a big heaping spoonful. I’m not quite sure how the term slop even came about but I imagine its origins lie in the sound it makes when falling off the spoon into the bowl. Onomatopoeia at its best!

Capri Suns

Ahh, liquid sugar in a pouch. These were the drinks of choice in both of our lunch boxes. We spent a few minutes discussing how important it was when putting that straw into the Capri Sun that you used enough force to puncture the pouch without exerting too much that you caused overflow. That truly was a skill to master; that and the technique of getting every last drop out by flattening the pouch by sucking all the air out of it and then re-inflating it by blowing air back in, forcing whatever juice was left into a corner where you could coax it up the straw. Repeat the sucking and blowing process until the Capri Sun is empty.

Otter Pops

Otter Pops are the shit! I love me some Otter Pops! There’s so much to love! The crazy psychedelic box! The clever puns each character was named after! Come on, how can you not find “Alexander the Grape” or “Little Orphan Orange” the height of true wit? I always insisted on eating the Strawberry Short Kook Otter Pop because I thought she was pretty and I wanted to be pretty just like her. Yes, I know she’s an otter. (I was under the age of five people!) Ok, that’s it for now as far as my stroll down memory lane goes. We discussed many, many more childhood crap foods and maybe someday I’ll take the time to write them down in another post. There are many non-nutritional, barely edible, extremely tasty things that both my husband and I grew up on and still hold dear to our hearts. The thing is that looking back at all this junk makes me think “No wonder I got fat! In fact, how am I not fatter?”

Pretty In Pink

I have a love affair with shoes. Shirts and pants may come and go but shoes will stay with you no matter how much weight you gain or lose. I don’t mind investing a small fortune in a great pair of heels because I know that I’ll get my money’s worth of use out of them. I’m the complete opposite when it comes to clothes; it’s hard to spend a large amount on a pair of trousers because I’m always wondering if they’ll fit within a few weeks. It just makes me feel pretty and girlie in a nice pair of heels and so whether to school or to the store, I wear them. This is my favorite shoe that I just bought recently: Too cute, right? They go with slacks or jeans and that's key for me. I love a versatile shoe! The only problem is that I do an enormous amount of walking in a given day and sometimes my feet are just tired. When I get home it feels so good to slip my shoes off but I still want to feel feminine and girlish, right? Here’s my newest solution: Sweet and sexy in their own way, huh? :)

A Post Where I've Written The Word "Love" In It Like 10 Times

I love strawberries! I love their beautiful crimson red color. I love their soft and tender texture. I love their juiciness when you bite into them. I love how their fragrance floods wherever you store them so that every time you open your fridge that sweet summer aroma greets you. I love them so much that my mom brought home a ginormous flat of them from farmer’s market on her way back from California as a thank you to me for babysitting her dogs. I gotta hand it to her, the lady sure does know how to show her appreciation! So I’ve been happily knee deep in strawberries for the past few days. I love them sliced thinly with a few dollops of whipped cream. I love them sliced into chunks and scattered on top of my sugar free strawberry j-ello, again topped with a cloud of whipped cream. I love them whole with a little bit of splenda sprinkled on every bite. My point? I love them. So like I mentioned in my last post, I am totally feeling the weight loss thing! As a part of my re-found dedication, the super geek inside of me created an excel spreadsheet to help me track my carbs and cals. I’ve been tracking everything I eat and because of the strawberry festival I’ve been having for the past few days, I have actually been having trouble meeting the basic requirement of calories that I need to eat. Imagine that, I’m having trouble eating enough food in a day! Last night I had to eat a rather calorie heavy dinner just to hit my calorie quota. I had a very large mixed green salad with real cheddar cheese and buttermilk dressing. I had a grilled pork chop marinated in lime juice and red pepper flakes. I had a cup of steamed green beans. I had two ounces of almonds. And of course I had more strawberries!

A Whole Bunch Of Cheese But Luckily No Whine

I don’t know how to describe it or which cliché fits best to the feeling that I’m feeling lately. I guess I could say “I’m on a roll” or “There’s a fire in the furnace” or “I’ve had a light bulb moment” or something to this effect. Yet none of them quite capture the surge of confidence and hope that I’ve lately and suddenly found. There’s something different in my attitude towards this whole weight loss caper that has slowly emerged. It started about two weeks ago but I think it cemented itself last Monday night after my all-you-can-emotional-eat almond buffet. My husband came home with some old pictures that my sister-in-law had sent over because she had duplicates of them and she thought I would like to have them. Pictures that I had never seen before. Now I’ve had the shock of seeing pictures of myself and thinking, “Am I that fat?” but this time I had the shocked thought of, “Was I ever that skinny?” Evidently skinny pictures are just as hard to look at as fat pictures. I have a few pictures of myself from when I was thinner (the ones you all have seen) but in true Lynne fashion, I’m always blocked by something or someone. Well the photos from my sister-in-law are full body pictures of me taken around the time when I was hovering below 120 pounds. I look awesome in those photos! It’s strange to know that I was that teeny tiny and toned and then proceeded to gain 60 pounds back! I think I just needed a shock. I needed an image to remind me of what I can and have done before. Like I said, I’ve been examining my attitude towards weight loss. I’ve been telling myself positive things and now I have a powerful mental image of that girl in the picture to go along with all my good positive self-thoughts. I guess my point is that lately I’ve been looking at lard busting in a different way. I think that until now, without even realizing it, I viewed losing weight as something that I had to do and I was grudgingly going through the motions of what it takes to do it. As silly as it sounds I just had to look at things from another angle. The last two weeks I’ve been seeing it as something that I deserve and a way to be good to myself. Instead of getting down on myself about those pictures and thinking, “I can never do this again. I couldn’t even maintain that change.” I looked at those pictures and thought to myself, “Hey! I did it once, I can do it again and this time will be better because I’ll be able to appreciate myself and be proud of my accomplishment.” At the risk of sounding cheesy, I have to tell you that lately I’ve been really finding out who I am, examining where I’ve been, and thinking about where I’m going. I know you’re probably getting bored with me repeating that theme over and over in my posts but I’ve never viewed weight loss in that way before so it’s still a huge epiphany that I’m still constantly amazed at. I’m sorry if this post is just kind of all over the place but I feel like there are big changes going on with me both mentally and physically and I’m still trying to wrap my mind around them. Again at the risk of being cheesy, I feel like this is it. This time I feel that magic that I felt the first time. Maybe it’s not magic? Maybe it’s self-confidence? But I think that this is the way it’s supposed to be. Magical yes, but not like some self-esteem fairy came along and bestowed it on me. No, instead it’s something that’s being forged inside me. It’s magic from within.

Feel The Burn!

I’m going to start kicking up my resistance band exercise routine and adding in some girlie push ups as well. I love that achy feeling that you get after really pushing those muscles and I had such a hard time lifting my backpack because my arm muscles were pleasantly worn out from a particularly good set yesterday. Add to that the fact that I went to the university and due to the high for today being friggin’ 88 friggin’ degrees (31 C), everyone and their grandmothers were wearing spaghetti straps, halter tops, and tank tops. I can’t wear any of those right now! Seriously, I put the Tank in tank top! Instead I wore my sandals and short sleeved v-neck because that’s as sexy as I get (for now)! Sorry I’m bitching about the weather again but reminders that it’s about to get God awful hot around here keep popping up. I go through this every year where I have conveniently forgotten that I live on the surface of the sun and it always takes awhile to prepare myself after some painful reminders. For instance, I walked into Target yesterday where I was smacked with the sight of their very large bathing suit section. I swear when you see something like that you feel like getting down and doing crunches and donkey kicks on the spot! I felt like I should be jogging in place while I was waiting in the check out line!

Water, Not Just For Bathing

I’m drinking a lot of water lately (astronomical amounts for me)! I have a bottle that I fill up at least 4 times throughout the day giving me roughly around 60 ounces a day. I’d like to drink more but I absolutely hate drinking water and I have to force myself to get even one bottle down. (As is the story of my life, I don’t seem to like anything that isn’t sweet and artificially flavored.) But I’m not really willing to try and mix in any flavoring because that’s just too much fake sweetener in a day for me. I’m hoping that instead I’ll get into the habit of drinking lots of water and that it will take off a few extra pounds as well as leaving me feeling refreshed and detoxified. Detoxified, I like that word. It makes me imagine that a superhero wearing an aqua blue lycra jumpsuit would show up at my house with a sparkletts water jug strapped to his back. He’d proudly watch me gulp down a bottle and then tell me, “You’ve been detoxified, Lynne! Remember, water is your friend!” and then we’d all do the, “Thanks Captain H20!” in unison as he set off to hydrate another thirsty citizen. The only problem is that these daily visits from Captain H2O have left me having to go to the potty every twenty minutes. On the plus side, I figure all that extra running to and forth from the potty is probably burning calories!

Relaxation In A Nutshell

Some days the little things get to you and stress you out. Things like: you can’t find your keys and you’re already late for school, or you go barefoot to take the doggie out to go potty and pay the price by stepping in a little pile of nastiness, or you spill coffee right down the left boob of your shirt which you will now have to wear for the next six hours because you can’t go home and change. Then, some days are centered around a big stressful crisis. Like you do your part of a project at work but someone else slacks off and then you have to scramble to get everything put together before a big deadline because it’s your ass if things don’t work out, or you have a large, long presentation to give at school and you are deathly afraid of public speaking or family members tell you about things that are stressing them out and in turn you get stressed out because even though you’re an adult, you’ve never quite learned how to not worry about the things that are stressful to your loved ones. And then there are the days when there are both little things and big things coming at you all at the same time and you just realize you’re screwed. Yesterday was one of those days. Yesterday was just really long and hectic for me. Everything listed above (and a whole bunch of other silly little things that I don't have the strength to write about) happened and by the end of the day I was just mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. I did really well with my eating all day, I made time for meals and little snacks to boost my energy and I was doing good until about 10:30pm. I had just dragged myself into the house after working six hours and spending eight hours at the university. I then decided to have some sugar free j-ello and an ounce of almonds. But instead of measuring out the one serving of almonds and then backing away from the can, I found myself standing in the pantry just eating them straight from the container. Even as I was shoveling them one by one into my mouth I was thinking, “You’re not hungry, you’re just tired and kind of stressed. Stop eating!” but I stood there and continued anyways. I guess there really wasn’t too much damage done (even though that was like 500 calories I didn’t need.) I’m telling myself that it wasn’t too bad so I don’t get discouraged because I figure that a good day today can offset last night’s unnecessary late night snack (I hope). I guess it’s not really about what I ate, it’s about the reasons why I was eating, the fact that I recognized the reasons why I was eating and the fact that it still didn’t deter me from continuing to sit there and do it. It’s like they always say, “insight does not equal change”, it takes more than just knowledge of a problem to fix it. I understand why I eat to relieve stress; the taste and texture of food, the calming effect of chewing and swallowing, momentarily soothe and distract me from things that are on my mind. Now I need to figure out how to stop it when I recognize it because right now I’m just recognizing it but letting it continue anyways. I know emotional eating doesn’t solve anything; I really just need to figure out a better way to deal with things that doesn’t involve stuffing my face.

Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot

Here in the desert it sometimes seems like we don’t really have defined seasons. One day it will be cold enough outside that I get a chill even through my wool sweater. Then within a few days the sun is shining, the breeze is dry and hot instead of refreshing and it’s cooking outside. On Monday earlier this week I was wearing my sweater and hurrying towards my car after school because I was cold. Today, only a week later, my husband and I thought we would take our walk/jog around 3:00pm and ended up getting knocked out by the heat. We walk/jog (walog?) through a park attached to our neighborhood that is one of the new “natural landscape” parks that our city has taken to building to conserve water. Basically, it’s rock and desert landscaping with small little oasis-like patches of grass and trees scattered here and there. It was only 80 degrees (26 C) outside but when you’re on a sand and gravel trail and moving around a lot, it feels like somewhere in the 90’s (30’s C). We set off from the house and I, foolishly dressed in heat absorbing black workout pants and navy blue shirt, casually commented, “Hey! It’s kind of warm outside today!” About thirty minutes into our walog we were sweating and gasping from the heat. At this point I whined, “Why the hell is it so hot?! When the hell did this happen?” I also dropped some other expletives because as usual, high temperatures turn me into a bitch with a mouth like a sailor. But we completed our intended route and I’m very proud of us because we really stuck it out like troopers. Well, like troopers who bitch and complain and swear the entire time. It took us an hour and a half to do our walog and we were so glad to get back home and indoors! I then had a nice cold shower and about 6 bottles of water in a row. You know you’ve overheated yourself when you continue to sweat even twenty minutes after a cold shower. So I guess that was the last daytime walog until fall gets here. Next weekend we’ll do our routine after the sun starts to set. Oh and I totally had to think about you guys too! Some of you have been writing about the fact that you’re enjoying that the snow is finally gone. Snow was a nice cool thought that helped me as I was trying not to die from heat stroke!

This Time It’s Different?

Ok, in the event that it might be a fluke and I would be embarrassed to be such an exercise failure, I haven’t told you about the burgeoning exercise plan that I have tentatively created and shockingly become excited about. Last week I realized that I often have trouble sticking to an exercise plan because sometimes I’m just too tired during the weekday to keep it up. Take for instance this week. On Monday I was at school for classes and practicum for nine hours on top of having worked for five hours. On Tuesday I was at school for classes and practicum for eight hours after having worked for six. Wednesday and Thursday weren’t that much better. There really is just no room or desire to exercise with a schedule like that. Yet for some irrational reason I was thinking that exercise should be spaced out throughout the week (the old Monday, Wednesday, Friday plan). So by the time the weekend comes along I feel discouraged that I’ve already blown my exercise plan and I feel like I totally suck at this whole weight loss thing. I then spend the weekend lying around on my ass telling myself that I deserve down time to recover from the week, completing the cycle of being sloth-like and lazy. Then I had a revelation. I don’t do well with rigid plans because the minute that I get off track, I get this attitude of “well, I guess I’ve blown it now” and then I just really go off the deep end. Case in point is my eating. I’ve switched to focusing on portion size, healthy choices and trying to really know when my body is hungry and full. When I try to strictly count calories or carbs, I take any slip up and turn it into a three-day binge of eating anything that isn’t nailed down. So I applied this knowledge of myself to exercising. Instead of forcing myself to stick to a Monday, Wednesday, Friday timed program (I probably was trying to do that because I had read somewhere that it's recommended for muscles to heal, yada, yada, yada, and it worked for me the first time around when I lost weight but my life is very different from then so the exercise plan should be too, right? Right.) I instead decided to give myself some abstract exercise goals and decided to think of any movement as better than nothing. I decided that if I could do at least some kind of moving around on my days off, I would call myself a success. This totally works for me! Last Friday I did a thirty minute elliptical workout, some resistance band exercises and some crunches (I posted about it last weekend). Then Saturday my husband and I walked for a mile and then jogged 3/4 of the mile back home. Finally, on Sunday I did a quick thirty minutes on Steely Dan again. Success and a step in the right direction! I know that to some of you this may sound like almost no exercise, especially when some of you are up to running like eight miles, uphill both ways, carrying your groceries and dry cleaning, in high altitudes everyday rain or shine, sleet or snow, but for me this is actually pushing the level of shape that I’m in! I’m starting to have an emerging hope that this kind of attitude towards exercise might really work for me. I’m actually looking forward to my workout today (usually I’m putting it off and trying to think of ways to get out of it) and I’d like to do that same walk/jog with my husband tomorrow. Ok, so I’ve written about it and posted it all for you to see. I think this might stick but please don’t laugh if next week’s posts are all about how I sat on the couch doing nothing and that I’ve forgotten where I keep Steely Dan!

Hey! Laughing Burns Calories!

My husband and I realize that we’re kind of boring people. We’re both working students and sometimes we’re just so tired that we don’t want to go out. Instead, our favorite past time consists of lying on the couch in our pajamas watching Tivo and heckling whatever show that’s on. We will basically heckle anything, from America’s Next Top Model to Food TV shows. Unfortunately I wish I could say that we’re super clever at it and that’s why we do it so much but in fact it’s just the opposite. As we go along we regress in maturity and most of our jokes are about the level you would find in 12 year olds (Think Mystery Science Theater 3000 only not as witty or grown up.) So the other night we’re enjoying ourselves as we make fun of “The Next Food TV Star” and my husband bumps my leg as he gets up to fetch me another diet soda. So I looked up at him and asked in mock outrage, “Why did you assault me?” to which he responded, “Because I couldn’t a-pepper you!” Ugly, I know! Not funny, I know! (Read it out loud if you don’t get it at first. What? Still not funny? Yep, I know.) But we laughed our heads off and have since taken to repeating it to each other for kicks. Why? Because we’re dorks, our humor levels are that of children, and obviously we should start making an effort to get out more.

Blue Jeans Blues

What the hell is up with jean sizes? I understand that you can expect differences between brands but how can there be inconsistencies within the brand itself? I own several pairs of L.E.I. jeans in different styles and cuts. I have a pair of L.E.I.’s in every size from 12’s to 5’s due to my various weight loss capers. Currently, I have been wearing a pair of stretch denim L.E.I. jeans in a size 10 because the 11's (which are the same cut) were so big I needed a belt to keep them up. Yesterday I went into my closet to see what other jeans fit me now in the hopes that I could put some of the bigger sizes away and see how far I had to go to get down into some of the smaller sizes. So imagine my dismay when I tried on a pair of L.E.I. classics in a size 11 that were hanging in my closet and I could not even button them! Forget buttoning them, I barely got them over my ass! (You really shouldn’t break a sweat trying to get into a pair of jeans!) Evidently, in an L.E.I. classic, I am still a size 12. So then I tried on an L.E.I. dark denim straight leg also hanging in my closet and they were a size 9. Granted, they look like they’re painted on but I could get them buttoned and they’re about a five pound weight loss away from being very wearable and very flattering. So now I’m confused. What size am I? I’m going to keep wearing the 10’s until I lose enough to get into the 11’s. (Doesn’t that sound weird? Trying to lose weight so you can move up to the next size of jeans?) I have this crazy urge to drive to the nearest mall and try on every brand of pants that I can find and then by taking some statistical calculations and finding the mode I will be able to determine my actual, official jean size. The only thing stopping me is that I’d like to think that I’m a 10 going on a 9 and don’t want to find that I really am a 12, effectively gaining two pants sizes in a day! I have a feeling that this would happen because some of the Levi's in my closet are size 10's and they look like they're much smaller than the 10's I'm currently wearing. (I didn't even want to start trying those on at that point!) I know that it makes no difference what size I am wearing and that it’s all about how you feel and look but once again sometimes the silly little things can motivate or can bother me!

Boy Don't I Wish!

Every time my girl Shakira does something new I always get a lot of “Hey! You look like Shakira!” comments. So after her awesome performance on American Idol last week I’ve gotten that remark at least six or seven times now. I’m a mixture of Irish, English, Scottish, Mexican (and who knows what else) so I do have a coloring similar to hers and for a while I was rocking long blonde wavy hair. So I guess I can see the connection but that’s about where the similarities end! It would be awesome if I did look like her, what a body! She is absolutely gorgeous, curvy and sexy and very womanly. If I could pick a body to have, she would probably be my top choice. I think it’s funny when people tell me that I look like her because I feel like what they’re not saying is that I resemble her plus forty pounds. Yes folks, Lynne is a poor man’s Shakira plus forty pounds! At least I can say that I don’t mind the comparison because she really is beautiful so that’s got to be a compliment, right? So whom do you get told that you look like? Is it good or bad? Accurate or totally wrong?