Weigh To Go! Part 13

December 2005 Starting Weight: 178.9 Last Month’s Weigh-In: 133.0 Today’s Weigh-In: 133.2 Umm, yeah. So I posted a small gain this month, it’s actually the first time that I posted one. I also didn’t make it one full week with clean eating. I did good all week long and then it was downhill Friday afternoon. I got to get it together, soon.

Déjà vu

Man, I ate entirely way too much this weekend. And while part of the reason is the fact that it’s hard to stay on track when you’re staying with people who eat in a completely different way than you, the truest reason why I stuffed myself silly is because I can’t seem to get over this feeling of wanting to graze and eat to a point of uncomfortable fullness. It’s not like I didn’t have better options. I took up some nice healthy snacks with me only to bring them back home in full. It’s like my enjoyment of shoving down food (and food that is not good for me either nutritionally or caloric wise) with reckless abandon outweighs the consequences that I know will result from that kind of behavior. After looking over the past month of my food journal I’m determined to have one on track week. So I’m back here starting day 1. Hmm, this feels familiar, somehow like I’ve been here before...

Still Doing Well, So Far...

I have done well this week and have been back to normal as far as food and working out goes. Tomorrow the weekend starts and that will be the real test. Weekends lately have consisted of me completely falling off the wagon and acting like Saturday and Sunday are all you can eat buffet days. We're supposed to go stay with some friends this weekend and that's another hurdle for me, I get off track when my routine is interrupted and especially when my brain and stomach think they're in vacation mode. I'm going to do my best though so wish me luck! On another note, I really like this whole Pilates thing. Now it's only been a week of beginner's workouts but I think it's something that I will definitely enjoy enough to stick with. Not to mention that my current level of ability is Suck so it would be great to improve to Not Sucking As Bad. Really though, it's funny how whatever workouts I was doing before have obviously not prepared me for the types of moves this requires. Who knew that I was so unflexible? I have a hard time getting my legs straight, reaching my ankles, keeping my movements fluid, yada yada. Overall it's been fun to try something that's so different from what I've been doing. Oh and I went to the doctor yesterday concerning my lack of energy. They're going to run some blood tests and other such sorts. They should get the results back by Monday. It felt strange, this is the first time that I've ever been to the doctor's without already having an idea of what was wrong with me. It's easy to go in and tell them that I have a cold or a sore throat or a cough, etc. It's harder to try to explain vague symptoms like headaches and lethargy mixed with bouts of insomnia. So who knows, we'll see. On one hand I obviously don't want something to be wrong with me but on the other hand it would be nice to know that the way I've been feeling isn't all in my head and even better is something that can be corrected.

Back With A Roar, Or At Least With Better Than A Whimper

Today, for the fifty millionth time since Christmas, I made an effort to get back at it. The day went well but I was so tired when I got home this afternoon that I ended up taking a two hour nap. Ha! I love how getting back on track saps my energy! But after I woke up I did the introductory workout on my new pilates dvd. It was actually pretty cool. I also suck so bad at it, that it should be fun to see how much I can improve myself. Seriously, I have no balance, no flexibility, and no endurance. So here's to improvement. On a different, more random note... Every once in a blue moon I wonder if I should have my thyroid checked. I'm always so tired (no matter how much sleep I get) and often feel lethargic and unfocused. I also notice that I get cold easily. I've heard that these are symptoms of low thyroid and I do know that there is a slight family history of it (one of my aunts has hypothyroidism.) Yet in the end, I think that the doctor would say that I'm fine. Maybe I just think it would be easier if I had some valid medical excuse for the fact that I often feel completely unmotivated, spacey, and given the choice I would do, in the great words of Peter from the movie Office Space, Nothing. I would feel kind of silly if I did go and get it tested and in the end it will turn out that I'm just lazy and need to wear a sweater.

A Case Of The Blahs

I'm struggling. I'll get back on track for a few days and then spend a few days eating like there's no stop. I'm not sure why I'm having so much trouble; here the holidays are over and now I'm having problems with the over eating? I've definitely put on a few pounds and it doesn't help that I've done zero exercise. I'm just feeling blah about everything and I hope it goes away soon. I mean, a couple more weeks of this and I'll have to scratch all my resolutions from the last post and just put down, "Stop gaining weight!" I guess I figured that after the new year I'd be all gung ho and ready to go and well... I'm not.

I Resolve To Make My Resolutions

First, I want to make sure I say thanks to you all for your kind words and encouragement, you guys are the best! This week I’ve finally gotten myself completely back on track. I had a little trouble after Christmas (a little too much chocolate and fast food then I should have had!) It’s like I had held out so long in the days leading up to Christmas, that my willpower was just shot. But getting back into things this week seems to already have taken off the holiday poundage. So I’ve been thinking long and hard about resolutions for this year. I’m definitely a resolutions type of girl; I like having a goal to work towards and the official feeling of making a commitment to change. I always have the standard “Be a better person/wife/daughter/sister” resolution at the top of my list so here are the ones that are more physical or fitness related. 1. Hit my 125 pounds goal. This is the first time that my new year’s resolution is to lose less than five pounds. Usually the number is something closer to 50 or 60 pounds. It will feel really good to see that number on the scale and give me a sense of achieving a goal that I’ve been working more than a year on. 2. Give up caffeine. I’ve wanted to do this for a while now. I seem to be really sensitive to caffeine and I drink entirely way too much of it. I’ve already tapered off drinking anything with caffeine in it after 3 in the afternoon because I notice that it gives me a lot of trouble with sleeping. I think this will be really good for me (if I can get through the withdrawals) and will help me to drink more water. 3. Be more comfortable as the person I am, balance it with the person I want to be. This is an overall goal bigger than just physical/fitness but I think a huge part of achieving it is learning to embrace and enjoy the body that God gave me and not to be so critical of it. I’m very good about looking towards the future and knowing what I want but I think that it makes me a little less able to just live in the moment and appreciate what I am or what I have right now. I think I might try to accomplish this by taking a few minutes at the end of the day to reflect and think about my life and how blessed and happy I am. I don’t ever do this enough right now. 4. Take up Pilates. I’ve wanted to do this for a long time too but just never made a decision to do it. I think it will be something new and exciting to do. Do you guys have any experience with it? Do you find it enjoyable? Can someone with two left feet have a hope of succeeding in it? 5. Ok, everyone. This is the big one and I really can’t even believe I’m typing it out for all to see. Here goes… I want to run in my city’s annual marathon. Every December they hold a marathon and half marathon and next year I’d like to be a part of it in some way. I don’t know if I could ever really work myself up to something like this. (Right now it feels as possible as if my resolution were to sprout wings and fly.) But I really want to try for this. I’ve even told a few of the people close to me that I want to do this and I’m committed to trying even if I can’t guarantee success. I guess it’s just hard to state this one out loud because it will be pretty embarrassing if I have to come back and tell everyone that I suck and that there’s no way that I made it near this goal. Oh well, I figure I’ll reach for something that seems impossible because imagine my surprise if I actually succeed! So there they are and I’m excited to start. Are you guys all gung ho to begin the new year too? I hope so! Good luck everybody and may 2007 be our best year yet!