Houseworking It

Thank you guys so much for all the nice comments and support, I can’t tell you how much it helps to know that you’re there and that you’ve had similar experiences. I think the other night in the store mirror was my first big “I don’t think I can do this!” freak out. I’m sure there will be other moments like that (I think it just comes along with the journey) but I’m committed to doing this fat busting thing.

Many of you mentioned loving yourself on the inside. As silly as this sounds, I’ve never tried to do that when I diet. My dieting usually consists of beating myself up and putting myself down for being fat. Usually there is mean self-talk and restricting food and telling myself “You can stand to skip a meal, big girl.” Not very nice, huh? Why is it that I would never treat another human being as badly as I treat myself on an everyday basis?

I think that in the past I have always been afraid to accept and like myself at a heavy weight for fear that I would stop pushing myself to keep losing. Ironically, I think that’s why I’ve failed in the past because that kind of negativity doesn’t let the person inside develop. I realize now that I can’t expect great things out of myself if I don’t believe in myself. I said that this time would be different, this time I would be nice to me, so here’s to being my own best friend!

. . . So today I am sore! My arms, back and tummy are killing me. A fantastic workout you ask? Well, kind of, I cleaned my two bathrooms from top to bottom. I had to get down on hands and knees (hey now!) to scrub out the tubs. By the time I got around to scrubbing the shower floor, my arms were tired! I was in this weird, torturous position, too. If you need a good visual of the exact pose, just get down into the girl-pushup position, move your left arm in a clockwise direction while wiggling your ass. Uncomfortable, isn’t it? Well, I did that for about an hour total last night. I thought my arms were going to give out which cracked me up because I had this mental picture of someone finding me face down, ass in the air, with foaming suds stuck to my face and the scrub brush tangled in my hair. Oh the things I think about!