Warning: I Am About To Be “Negative Nancy” All Over This Place

Hi. Ok, I know a fat blog is about weight loss and all its ups and downs and not just a place to bitch and gripe but I really need to be a big, whiny baby right now. Please indulge me. So yesterday was my second year anniversary and it started off wonderfully. We both had the day off and had slept late and were just sitting around watching tv. I should have just kept on doing that. But instead I decided that my husband and I should take a trip to the mall. He had given me a gift certificate so I thought it would be really nice to stroll around the shops to burn a few calories before our big fancy dinner and maybe I’d even find something pretty to buy to wear that night. Well, after a couple of hours I just wanted to get the hell out of there before I burst into tears. What is with the new styles of clothing this season? All that shit looks the same and I can’t wear any of it. Everything seems to have that high empire waist and then a ton of material billowing out from it. I look pregnant in that crap! Everything is also way too long. It hits me right at my saddlebag thighs and makes my hips, thighs, and ass look huge. It draws so much attention to that area of my body that I am only one step away from pointing arrows and blinking lights strung around my ass. Then the sleeves are very short and full of elastic. The stuff I was trying on made my arms look like sausages in a tourniquet. You couldn’t design a more unflattering fit for my specific body type if you tried. I don’t know what I did to piss off the fashion industry but I’m thinking that the new trends are some kind of cruel personal shot at me. Yes, a few hours in a mall have made me paranoid. So I tried not to get too down after we left the mall empty handed. I was determined to go and have a nice, romantic dinner at this really beautiful restaurant. The view was incredible, the service was awesome, and the food was so, so good. Until towards the end of the meal I felt like I was going to vomit. Tell me if this has happened to any of you but I’d say within the last two years I’ve eaten more healthy than I ever have before and it’s actually affected my ability to eat rich, fried, heavy food. I have had a handful of times where I have actually gotten sick and been throwing up because the food was just too heavy for me. We actually had to rush the check and then drive home as fast as possible because I was afraid I was going to be sick like I have in previous times. I made it home but all our plans for that evening were ruined as I lay in my room in the dark trying not to throw up. Guys, I was (and am) just so disappointed with yesterday. Evidentially, according to store standards, I am too fat to fit into today’s new trends. I am supposedly so oddly shaped that they don’t even make clothes for girls that look like me. Yet because I have done so much to get healthy like eating only natural foods and 70 to 80 percent of my diet being fresh veggies and fruit, and trying to eat only whole grains, nuts, and cutting out all oil, fat, butter, etc. my body can’t handle something that’s been deep fried and covered in a sugar-based sauce. I get sick when I eat too many carbohydrates mixed with sugar and oil. There’s something about that mixture that is poison to my system. That’s some ironic shit: too fat for trendy clothes, too healthy for crap food.