One Step At A Time
Well, I’ve tentatively been back at it for two days now. I feel better already just having some semblance of routine back and not feeling like I’m spiraling out of control anymore. I peeked at the scale this morning to see what the damage is. I usually only weigh in once a month officially but after a spectacular binge like the one I’m recovering from I always have a morbid curiosity to see just how much carnage has ensued from my little excursions into bingeland. The numbers aren’t pretty, people: 145 pounds. Now I’m hoping that some of that is bloat or water retention or basically anything but actual gained fat. Here’s why I’ve got my fingers crossed: Over the last three weeks I just couldn’t seem to keep my shit together, I’d go a couple days of being sensible and then lose it for a couple of days in a row. So if the 145 is an accurate number and I gained about 15 pounds, then according to my food journal I gained a pound for each day spent off the wagon. A pound for each day? That just doesn’t seem right or maybe what I mean is that it doesn’t seem fair! Either way, I’m trying to get back into it. I’m trying to take each day at a time and not worry about upcoming things. If I think about how over the next two and a half weeks I have multiple dinner get-togethers with friends and family, a holiday weekend full of all you can eat barbecues, or my birthday weekend at the beginning of June (in which the festivities usually stretch out over a four day or more period) then I’d get discouraged knowing that these are all times that I need to find some kind of balance and moderation. If anything I have to not think about any of that and only concentrate on each day as it comes. It reminds me of when you’re jogging and you see how far you have to go and it feels like you’ll never make it. Whenever that happens I sometimes find it easier to just put my head down and concentrate on each step, just putting one foot in front of the other. Then before you know it, you look up and the distance has gotten way smaller and you feel like you’ll make it to the end of that mile after all. I think I’ll use this same method with my eating over the next few weeks. I know I can do it but it’s just hard given my tendency to completely go off the deep-end anytime you say cake.
posted by Lynne @ 11:51 AM
3 Comments:
Hey, Lynne...good for you for facing the music and for making a real effort to get back on track! I don't think you could possibly gain a pound a day, so let's hope most of that is water retention? Well, I could gain a pound a day, but that's me! Anywhooo...congrats on the upcoming BD! Mine's coming up, too!! Gemini buddies! Hooray!
Hi Lynne,
I agree with Fatmon, I think there will be some bloating, and water retention as well.
I think you are right in trying to look at things one day at a time, and not worry too much about what is coming up in the future. I would go even further and look at things one meal at a time. Each time you are hungry, eat something, but only enough to satisfy your hunger (it may surprise you when you really focus on it how little it takes to satisfy your hunger). The key is to really focus when you are eating, and be alert to all the signs your body sends you about when to stop.
You can do this, you have come so far, and you are so strong. The last few weeks are just a tiny blip on the radar in the big picture. Learn from it, move on, and dont punish yourself. We all make mistakes.
Good Luck and a very Happy Birthday to you! :-)))
I really hope that things are going better for you after a few days "on track," Lynne. Oh how I empathize with your struggles. I still feel kind of unsteady - I have about 3 weeks of healthy habits under my belt, but that comes after, literally, nearly 3 years of mostly very unhealthy ones. Here's to taking things one meal, step, day at a time!
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