These Boots Are Made For Walking And Maybe I'm More Of A Sitting Down Quietly Kind Of Girl

Yesterday after work I had some unexpected free time so I thought I’d swing by the mall and buy me something nice. I feel like everything I buy is always very practical and multi-purpose, and it was time to just buy something that was a want and not a need. I’ve been wanting a pair of knee high boots for awhile, they seem to be really popular this season and I always look at them every time I’m out shopping. In the past whenever I’ve tried them on my legs were always too fat for them to zip up all the way but I thought maybe this time would be different. There are a ton of styles of knee high boots out right now and I tried on a few different pairs and for some of them my legs were still too fat but some of them did fit. I ended up buying a pair in chocolate brown with a stiletto heel and a pointed toe box. Then I figured that I should go buy a skirt or outfit to wear with them because nothing I own fits those shoes. I never wear skirts or anything that shows my legs, in fact I never even try skirts on, so I didn’t even know what styles fit me. Well after a few frustrating laps across the mall, stopping in too many stores and countless disappointing trips to the changing room, I left the mall with just the boots. I just couldn’t find anything that fits me right and matches my style and taste. I was really disappointed because I thought to myself that now that I’m more than forty pounds lighter finding clothes should be that much easier. But it just didn’t work out that way and it seems that finding clothes that fit is almost as difficult now as it was then. I still have the same problem finding stuff that fits both my waist and hips and things that are too small to be buttoned across my chest and arms still fit way too baggy on my torso. It was just so frustrating and depressing for me. When I got home last night I started to have doubts about the boots. Right now I don’t even have anything to wear with them and even if I can find an outfit I hate to own a pair of shoes that can’t mix and match with the rest of my closet. On top of all that, I’m not even sure I can pull these boots off. I’m afraid that instead of wearing the boots, the boots will be wearing me. I’m a shy person and I tend to dress in a way that’s more about blending in then sticking out and I think that’s residual from always feeling uncomfortable about my body. I know it sounds silly to worry so much about a pair of boots but it’s more than being just about the shoes now; it’s about still being afraid of being outside my comfort zone. Right now I’m just debating on taking them back. The whole point of buying them was to make me feel good and so far the whole thing has just kind of been a let down.