Recipe For Disaster
I’ve never been a good cook. I love food, I love to eat and I have an unhealthy obsession with Food TV but it never translates over to me actually getting into the kitchen. Seriously, my idea of cooking involves a can opener and a microwave. (Maybe that’s why I love salads so much? I’m in my element with bagged lettuce and peel and eat veggies.) And let’s not even talk about baking; there’s a better chance that I’d burn the house down than actually bake something that’s edible. My husband laughs because I buy ready-to-bake cookies and then just eat the dough without bothering to use the stove. My husband on the other hand is an amazing cook. I could go on and on about how good some of the meals he comes up with are. Plus he’s consistent. Every time he cooks a meal it comes out beautiful, it smells wonderful and it tastes great every time. He actually enjoys making food so maybe it’s the “love” that makes it taste so good! (If you’re a fan of “Everybody Loves Raymond” you’ll get that reference.) Anyways, I realize that the reason I’m not a good cook is because in the end, I just don’t really enjoy cooking and I have no patience for it. For example, even though I very rarely eat any red meat I’ve been having such a craving for meatloaf lately that I thought I’d try my hand at making some. I figured I could make it with 4% fat beef, lots of oatmeal, and plenty of fresh herbs, onions and garlic. Yum! I also decided that I would make it in a muffin pan so that way I could guarantee serving size and calorie content. Sounds easy enough, right? Yeah. First, because I know nothing about cooking and do it so little, I didn’t come up with an adequate plan before I started cooking. I portioned out the raw beef and was ready to start mixing individual muffins and then realized that I hadn’t opened the canister of oatmeal or sliced up the veggie stuff. So I washed my hands, opened the oatmeal and sliced the veggies, picked up the meat to start mixing and then realized that I hadn’t got any of the spices out of their shakers and I didn’t want to touch them with my dirty hands. (I’m very militant about raw meat and bacteria and was trying my best not to touch anything, anywhere.) So of course I stopped and got all the spices ready and as I started getting about halfway through the meatloaf muffins I realized that I had forgotten the tomato sauce. So yet again I had to stop, wash up, open the can of sauce and remix all the muffins I had already made. About halfway through I was tired of this cooking project! I didn’t even feel like finishing, much less having to go through all the clean up still waiting ahead of me! And also another thing, why is it that a stray wisp hair will fall out of my barrette and into my eye or mouth right when I can’t swipe it away? Or why will I have an unbearable itch on my face while my hands are bowl-deep in raw meat and I’ll have to sit there and try to itch myself with my own shoulder? But I digress… In the end, they actually came out really good and totally satisfied my craving. Maybe I could have my own Food TV show after all? People could tune in week after week just out of morbid curiosity to watch the train wreck that is Lynne in the kitchen. People would probably just watch the show, confused, and wonder “Is this girl ever going to get it? For the fortieth time, how hard can cooking meatloaf be?!”
posted by Lynne @ 6:58 PM
3 Comments:
I absolutely LOVE the food network, i have been addicted for years now. Sadly, my cooking skills haven't improved all that much even after spending countless hours watching it.
sigh.
I personally swore off making meatloaf the day I had just gotten my hands soaped up after being wrist deep in raw meat, ... and the maintenance guy shut off the water to my apartment building. I had to sit with slimy, half-soapy meat fat on my hands for almost 30 minutes before he got it on again. It did turn out yummy though. =)
Love the recount of this experience and, as someone who loves to cook (and has at least been told I'm good at it) can share a few things with you. Firstly, I am a messy cook. I admit it. But cooking, to me, is like creating art. The kitchen is my canvas, the incredients my supplies. While I definitely am careful with the whole cross contamination of meat thing, I don't wory about getting my grubby hands on the seasoning shakers, etc. when making something like meatloaf. Instead, I rely on Clorox wipes when I'm done to clean everything down. But I recommend that you try something sometime: when you're in the mood to cook/bake, go in giving yourself complete permission to make a mess. don't worry about what the kitchen looks like when you're done, how many open jars and containers surround you, etc. Just concentrate on the creation of the food you are preparing...and look at it as just that: a work in progress. You might get a slightly different view of things that way. ;-) Congratulations on a tasty meal, btw! I'm glad it all worked out for you in the end!
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