From Lynne to Lean

This is my journey from Lynne to lean. My new year's resolution is the same I've had most of my adult life: To lose weight. I also resolved to start doing things that I would normally be afraid of doing. This weblog is where these two resolutions converge.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

THE FUTURE IS NOW

I don't know if all girls who are overweight can relate to this type of thinking but I have always had thoughts of "When I lose weight, I'll do this..." or "When I lose weight then this will happen...". I dream of going to sunny beaches and lying around in the warm sand but there's always the thought of "After I lose weight, I'll go." I have passed clothing stores and seen beautiful, figure hugging skirts and pants, flimsy low cut, sleeveless blouses made of unforgiving fabric and I have always thought, "When I lose weight, I'm going to wear something like that." There's always this promise of the future, that after I lose weight then life begins. Yet there comes a time when you start to realize that you've put everything on hold. You realize that you deny yourself the enjoyment of something because you're "saving" that experience for a future, slimmer you. After years of living like this, you realize that you're punishing yourself for not being thin. This is just silly and I don't want to do this to myself anymore. The problem is, how do I stop? This will be the challenge. I do want to lose weight, I do want to be healthy but I don't want to punish myself for not being those things. I want to find a balance between accepting me for who I am while still maintaining belief in what I can become.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This might be an old post of yours but I'm starting from the beginning :)

I can totally identify with that and you put it into words so perfectly. I do think I tend to put things 'on hold' - that trip out, those items of clothing, this and that .. almost every single aspect of my life has been on hold until I weigh xx kg. Not sure how to get past such a thing besides losing the weight though ..

11:48 PM  

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