Making Molehills Out of Mountains

I went hiking yet again this weekend. It was awesome! We did a six-mile loop, activity level strenuous, in about three hours. My legs were jelly and the last mile and a half was uphill; for a while I felt like I wouldn’t make it. But I did and I’m really proud of that. Next weekend, two days after Thanksgiving, we’re going camping. I figure that’s a good way to avoid eating myself into a coma with holiday leftovers and that going out to do some really awesome hikes will be enough to undo Thanksgiving damage and to get me right back on track with my weight loss efforts. I’ve been thinking about what a hard time I had this year weight loss wise. I got side tracked around the holidays last year and just never really got this back on to my list of priorities. It was high on my wants and needs list but hardly ever featured on my actively doing list. So many other things just came up and got in the way. And I guess that’s ok in the sense that I’ve really accomplished a lot for myself school-wise and career-wise and I’m glad I made the investment. But getting my weight and fitness back to a level that I’m more comfortable with is really something that I need to turn a lot of attention to. I’m sick of being aware of how uncomfortable I am but continuously delaying doing something about it. I just feel that now that I’ve finally got my focus back I’m dealing with the mother of all weight loss de-railers: The Holidays. I want to survive the next few months with a semblance of normality. I want to thoroughly enjoy the season and the festivities without letting go of my long term goals. I want the ultimate achievement: partake in the merriment AND still lose weight. Is this even possible? I don’t know if it is. In times past I was able to do that but losing weight was simpler for me. I had more to lose and along with that more room to error. But now that I’ve gotten into the battle of these last fifteen or so pounds, everything is important. Every little thing counts. A couple of years ago I could slip up a few days, gain a few pounds, but three or four days of being back on plan would undo the gain. But now it seems that one slip undoes weeks worth of work and I can’t have enough “good” days in a row to get further than breaking even. In fact when I look back over the past half year I see that most of my work has been weight maintenance even though I was putting in weight loss effort. It’s very discouraging and weighs heavy on the morale after a while. Regardless of that I’m still determined to do this even if I just have to accept that part of this process is the natural fact that it gets harder and harder the closer you get and so you have to be prepared for frustrations and feeling discouraged. Anyways, so that’s where I’m at with things right now: experimenting with the fierce kick-ass wilderness chick inside of me and trying to balance her needs with the fierce grumpy couch-potato chick that’s also inside me!

It Doesn’t Take Much

This Saturday I went hiking with my husband and our little dog. This is probably the first real exercise I’ve had in months. I felt like a newbie out there, I was out of breath walking on the flat part of the trail before we even hit the first hill. My husband had no problem with it and even my five pound little dog was way ahead of me, looking back every once in a while with a, “Come on! Pick up the pace!” expression on his face. But I stumbled my way all the way up and down that trail and oh did it feel good! I forgot how it’s an oddly pleasing feeling when it seems like your legs are burning and rubbery. I also forgot how good it feels when you’re out on a cool day and your body is warm because of the exertion but you can feel that cool, crisp air in your lungs. I just love that feeling! We only hiked two miles total but it was enough to wear me out. I so needed it, it reminded me of how good it feels to be using your body and pushing it to its limits. I’ve spent the last few months so focused on my mind that I forgot how good it feels to get up and use every muscle you’ve got. Lately it’s like my body has been an after thought or mostly it’s working against me not for me. But I know that this is what I needed. It didn’t take much, but just reaching for my tennis shoes instead of the Chinese take out menu felt good and has put me in a whole different frame of mind.

Weigh To Go! Part 21

December 2005 Starting Weight: 178.9

August's Weigh-In: 144.3

September's Weigh-In: 145.2

October's Weigh-In: 147.8

Ok, I didn’t mean to skip out on the entire month of October. I’ve been studying since September for a major comprehensive exam that I need to pass in order to get my degree and so for the last month all I’ve done is study in every spare moment I’ve gotten. Thankfully over the weekend I took the exam and now I’m just sitting around waiting to hear if I passed it. As you can see by the numbers, things just have kind of been steady. And when I say steady I mean a steady increase in the direction of up. It’s terrible folks. When my life gets busy like it has lately everything goes on the back burner. And when I get stressed out, like I did over this exam that is testing the knowledge I’ve spent three year accumulating, I throw everything out the window and focus solely on what needs to be done and eating goes out of control and is sometimes used as comfort or a de-stressor. The biggest problem with this is that after the dust has settled and I survive whatever stressful challenge I’ve been dealing with, I have to face whatever damage I’ve done poundage-wise. And that’s where I’m at now. I’m flirting with the 150 mark; something I haven’t done since May/June of 2006 but during that time it was a downward trend. I can’t believe that around this time last year I only weighed 134. I really don’t want to undo all the hard work that I put in. I keep saying this and now it’s time to really make an effort to do something about it. So, where to begin…